The Grief Roller Coaster:

The Grief Roller Coaster: What It’s Like to Ride the Emotional Ups and Downs of Loss.

When I first lost someone I loved deeply, I expected grief to feel linear—like a straight road I’d walk down until one day, I’d feel better. But instead, it felt like I’d been strapped into an emotional roller coaster I never agreed to ride.

One minute I was holding it together. The next, I couldn’t breathe through the tears. Moments of peace were followed by deep waves of pain, anger, guilt, or numbness. Nothing was predictable. That’s when I realized—grief doesn’t follow a timeline. It twists, turns, and drops you when you least expect it.

This is what we call the Grief Roller Coaster.

Why Grief Feels Like a Roller Coaster

Grief is not a tidy process. It doesn’t unfold in clean stages, despite what we may have been taught. More often, it’s messy, chaotic, and overwhelming.

One day you might feel okay—like you’re finally healing—only to be hit with a tidal wave of sadness or rage the next. That swing of emotion can be disorienting. But it’s also completely normal.

The Grief Roller Coaster metaphor captures this unpredictability. It reminds us that grief is not something to fix or complete—it’s something to move through, with compassion and patience.

Visualizing Grief: The Power of the Roller Coaster Worksheet

One tool that helped me make sense of my emotional storm was a Grief Roller Coaster worksheet. Seeing grief illustrated as a winding, looping track gave me permission to feel the whiplash of emotions without judgment.

The worksheet acknowledges:

That grief doesn’t move in a straight line.
That highs and lows can come without warning.
That sometimes we just need to hold on and ride it out.

Want to try it yourself? You can find a great version from Therapist Aid here.

Reflecting on the Ride: Questions That Help

As I worked with the roller coaster metaphor, I began to ask myself deeper questions that helped me understand my grief more clearly. You can try asking these too:

Which emotions are currently part of your grief? (Is it sadness, anger, guilt, relief, confusion, or all of the above?)
How are you responding to these emotions? (Are you leaning into them, suppressing them, numbing them, or expressing them?)
In what ways are you fighting your grief? (Are you expecting yourself to “move on” too soon? Are you afraid of what you’ll feel if you stop distracting yourself?)
What would it look like to stop trying to control your grief—and let it move through you?

These aren’t easy questions. But they helped me feel more grounded and less like I was failing the grief process somehow. Because truthfully, there is no one right way to grieve.

Try This: Draw Your Own Grief Roller Coaster

One of the most healing things I’ve done was drawing my own grief roller coaster. I labeled the loops and dips with emotions and memories: The loop of guilt, The steep drop of loneliness, The flat stretch of numbness, The surprise turn into joy when I remembered a funny story.

This is a beautiful exercise to do individually, or with a grief support group. You can invite each person to:

Draw their roller coaster of grief.
Label each section with an emotion or memory.
Share their drawing (if they feel safe doing so) and reflect on what it reveals.

You’ll find that although our tracks are different, we’re all riding through grief in one way or another—and that connection can be incredibly comforting.

Let Go of the Need to “Get Over It”

Grief isn’t a problem to be solved. It’s an emotional landscape to navigate. And just like on a roller coaster, we don’t always have control of the ride—but we can learn to hold on, breathe through the fear, and trust that the wildest turns will pass.

So if you’re grieving right now and wondering why you’re not “done” yet, please remember this:

🌀 You’re not going backwards—you’re riding through a loop.

💔 You’re not too emotional—you’re responding to deep love and loss.

⏳ You’re not behind—you’re moving through grief at your own pace.

You Don’t Have to Ride Alone

If the grief roller coaster ever feels too much to handle, you don’t have to face it alone. Therapy, support groups, creative expression, and somatic practices can all help you process what you’re feeling in a safe and compassionate way.

Further Resources:

The ride may be rough, but you’re not broken. You’re grieving—and that means you’re still loving. And that is something powerful.

If you found this post helpful, feel free to share it with someone who’s struggling with grief. Or reach out if you’d like support through your own roller coaster. I’m here to ride alongside you.